Who Killed Osama?

I liked a link on facebook the other day, and it popped up on my profile. It said "Kyle Farnworth likes the guy that killed osama." I thought it was funny, and I genuinely like that guy. He has to be a cool dude, right? So I sat and wondered who actually killed Osama, and I narrowed it down to 5 people. It has to be one of these guys.

Jack Bauer - Bauer is an easy number one pick in the "Who Killed Osama?" draft. The guy has done nothing but thwart terrorist attacks his entire life, and obviously is the most capable person for the job. But a part of me thinks that its too obvious that Osama had probably been expecting Jack Bauer all ten years. So the search did not stop there, and I had to continue to find Osama bin Laden's killer.

Agent 007, James Bond- Yet another obvious pick. James Bond is the king of destroying evil plans that the public seems to know absolutely nothing about. Complete with remarkable gadgets, Bond can do anything, including putting a bullet in Osama's eye. Plus, 007 get's laid by far the most out of anyone on this list, and still has swag these many years later. However, James Bond is British, so it obviously wasn't him. USA! USA! USA! And the search continues..

John McClane - A terrorists worst fear, McClane has been going beyond his line of duty for years now. He's still blowing up helicopters at 47, and remains to be one of the most bad-ass cops in New York. I mean, the guy isn't in the CIA or FBI or anything, he's just a New York cop doing way more than he's always needed to. He always lets the terrorists come to him though, and he would have never been in Pakistan. So it couldn't of been him..

Vincent Vega/Jules Winnfield- Theres nothing scarier than these two busting through your door in those tuxedos, and don't ask me how I know. If Marcellus Wallace ordered these two to find and kill Osama bin Laden, it would happen. Jules would recite the Bible as loud as he can, say a curse word about the Koran, and pull the trigger. But the last I heard, Vincent Vega was dead and Jules wasn't a killer anymore. So who knows what really happened?

It must have been Lil B the Based God.

Got any ideas? You can plead your case for anyone of these men in the comment section, or offer up ideas of your own. Who do you think killed Osama bin Laden? The world may never know.

-TBD. (vote in the poll in the top right to pick my sign-off)