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Friday, April 30, 2010

Choke on That, Bitch.

     The Washing Capitals were easily the most dominant NHL team in recent memory. I don't even follow hockey, nor give a shit about it until playoff time, but even I knew that Czar Alex (copyright that) and the rest of the Caps were unbeatable. Earlier this year, Tony Korn and Mike Wilbon debated on Pardon the Interruption about if the Capitals would lose before the Nets won... and they actually said they had the Net's winning first.
      And then the playoffs came along, and the #1 seeded Capitals took on the #8 seeded Montreal Canadians (the most unoriginal name in sports) who had struggled all year. The Capitals were up 3 games to 1 without any difficulty. I don't watch hockey, but apparently the Habs took the Capitals to Game 7, and when I heard my insane neighbor from Washington screaming profanities in the hallway that night, I knew that the Canadians had pulled off the upset, and the Capitals and their Czar had committed one of the biggest chokes in Sports history.
       So that got me thinking of the biggest gag jobs in history, and made me want to compile this list of Chokes. Oh, and James (that's my neighbor), I was the one yelling Cap's suck down the hallway when you were drunk. Just saying...

GREATEST CHOKES IN HISTORY (SPORTS AND LIFE)
1) New York Yankees, 2004 ALCS - I mean this was an obvious number one. After an absolutly DOMINATING first three games in the ALCS, they Yankee's were one inning from closing out a sweep of the Boston Red Sox in Game 4. They had "one of the best" closers of all time on the mount, in Mariano Rivera, to send them to the World Series. However, a large, black man named David Ortiz had different plans, and the rest is history.
2) 18-1, the 2007 New England Patriots - It kills me to put this here as a die-hard Patriots fan, but the 2007 Super Bowl has to go number two on the list. The most dominating offense/team of ALL-TIME was one game away from the first (19 game) perfect season in NFL History. Tom Brady, Randy Moss, and the dominating Patriots offense only mustered 14 points against the lowly New York Giants, who had no reason being in the Super Bowl as it was. The Patriots lost 17-14, and I cried that night, after watching the game that is only referred to in New England as "that game."
3) Jimmie Foxx - On July 21st, 1967, the great retired first baseman of the Boston Red Sox passed away, after apparently choking on a large piece of meat.
4) Greg Norman, 1996 Masters - Now I can honestly say I like Golf, and there has never been as big of a choke in golf as that of Greg Norman in 1996. Norman entered the final day of the tournament with a 6 shot lead, and the tournament in the bag. He gagged by shooting a 76 (I think I can shoot a 76), and lost the tournament by 5 stroked. His career was never the same.
5) B-Rabbit in the opening scene of 8 mile - So this "B-Rabbit" white kid opens up a movie about his life at a rap battle in the ghetto. Being the only white guy there, he had a lot to prove. He get's up there on stage, in his first battle, and doesn't say anything! He turns out to be pretty good though, I think..
6) The Washing Capitals and the Mighty Czar Alexander Ovechkin (see above)
7) The 1986 Boston Red Sox That Buckner Guy - Another post that kills me to write. We all know the story, the Red Sox we're one out away in the 9th from winning the World Series. After three singles tied the game, Mookie Wilson hit a slow roller to first baseman Bill Buckner, that squirted right in-between his legs and forced in the winning run. The Red Sox lost Game 7, and that grounder went down as the worst error in sports history
Honorable Mentions - Ivan Drago, That Showboating Snowboarder Chick who fell at the finish line, Oilers/Bills 1992, The Vietnam War, Chris Webber's Timeout.

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